Paraprosdokians
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Paraprosdokians
Dog Quotes
Dog Reminders

Paraprosdokians

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


Evening news is where they begin with ĎGood evening,í and  then proceed to tell you why it isnít.


To steal idea from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.


A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.


How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it  takes a whole box to start a campfire?


Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,  they can train people to stand on the very edge of  the pool and throw them fish.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you donít need it.


I didnít say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is  wet?


Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad  memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.


The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!


I  discovered I scream the same way whether Iím about  to be devoured by a great white shark or if a  piece of seaweed touches my foot.


Some cause happiness wherever they go.. Others, whenever they go.


Thereís a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they canít get away.


I used to be indecisive. Now Iím not sure.


I always take life with a grain of saltÖ plus a slice of  lemonÖ and a shot of tequila.


Youíre never too old to learn something stupid.


To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.


Nostalgia isnít what it used to be.


A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.


Change is inevitable, except from a vending  machine.