The Buffalo Theory
Home Up


Size Matters
The Drive Up
Whose Fish..?
The Storm
The Buffalo Theory
Approaching Dream
Wood into Wisdom

The Buffalo Theory

Contributed by Bruce "Spanky" Goodale


All of you have read or heard this wisdom before, but I have not heard anyone explain it as well as the all mighty and wise Cliff Clavin, on the sitcom Cheers. One afternoon  Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. And here's how it went:

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo.  When predators approach the herd, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain as a unit can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.